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Posted by ferrow

Confused to between mind and heart... mind says stop this and heart says go ahead.

Well.. It was my first love in life when we were preparing for competative exams.We used to meet unexpectedly at same time,neat same bench that why we were gradually exchanged glances.We both used to like each other for those 2 years but never expressed as we both afraid of our exams,parents and other stuff. Now after 8 years, i am an engg and she is doc. (working in diff cities)
One day suddenly i got information about her as i was searching for her from last 8 years. As soon as i got info i moved to her place and her clinic (as i dont know where to meet her only option was her clinic).Met her, she said , didnt recognised me (i felt bad for that line) . we had chat for 40 minutes in the cabin exchanged our numbers.
After that i sent 2/3 messages about gm and gn. Her reply was "dont text me further i better stop all this or she will lodge complaint" I was shocked after that. (After 20 days i again moed to her place to clear all doubts.)
As soon as i entered in her cabin she told " Not here,we will meet outside i call u or u call me". I left and called her after one day as she said. she didnt answer. i left her text she didnt reply.
(Mybe she gave me number as a friend but i couldnt resist thinking of her.)
what to do ? i want to clear all things. i want to express my feelings as 8 yearsfor first luv not a small time. Should i express or scrap all my plans to meet her. please help.

Answer
0

Dear Ferrow
Most people find it difficult to forget their "First love"! It IS such an experience. It lingers through space, time and occasionally through subsequent relationships. But most people are able to move on, because there is a big gap of time between "First love" and the point at which we are capable of taking well-considered and informed decisions. Apparently, you are at this point now- eight years later. We think thru "mind", yes,- but emotions too are a function of "mind". Heart is just a metaphor for emotions; So let there be no confusion in your MIND!
Talk to some reliable friends. Consider all the dimensions of the issue and go ahead and take a decision. Then, stick to it, no matter what...
What could be these dimensions to be considered? Please imagine - she may be married? or in a steady relationship? she may be settled in life and her profession- and may be averse to "risks"? She may have plans to marry a doctor? She may have family responsibilities and considerations (a widow mother?) ? She may have issues with caste, creed (you make no mention though)? There can be many reasons for her current behaviour - and she is well with in her rights. But, one thing is clear - she has moved on.
You, we guess, could be in late twenties? What about your current friends? Have you considered any one of them as a romantic interest or a potential life partner? It is difficult to drive, while looking into back view mirror all the time! Life can be understood in the retrospect but has to be lived forward..What do you say?
So, dont text her, please. Read excellent resources below and look ahead for better things! We wish you all the best!

(First time love is based on emotions, fantasy and infatuation; It may not end in happy relationships though - check this for example)
https://lovematters.in/en/news/she-would-slap-and-abuse-me-public

(How to get over your first love-)
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-Your-First-Love

Finally, do share your experiences, whatever they may be, with LM - it might help others!
Thanks for contacting LM !

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