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Dear Aunty. I have an issue and I don't know anyone to consult with. Then I found this block and read all the comments,. I m sure you would surely help me with my issue. My story is I had a gf we are together for two and half years, recently I saw some change I in her behaviour so I ask my friend to find out the reason behind. I found that she was seeing someone ( her close friend told me) . When I told her about her another bf she was so mad as she knew nothing . We had a misunderstanding fight and breakup month ago. Okey that's another story. I have a friend Josi, we are together for like 4 months but we are so close like a best friend. I found out that my ex ( not the one mention above, another ex before her) is seeing her boyfriend. They too had a fight and break up recently. We are so close that we start flirting, and my other stupid activity. . . We started sending picture message exposing our body. We act like a couple, one day I ask her to have sex with me she happily accept that. But we had a deal not to fall in love or anything, I told her I won't love her and I can't be her bf . I also told her to think properly because I my not her boyfriend, we should stop this if is going to regreat after this. She accept everything no ask me to have sex with her as we both are single and she want to enjoy. And also I don't see any blood in her vagina but she told me it was her first time. I don't care because she is my friend and I m not her boyfriend so I don't have to. But some day after the sex she ask me to make her a mummy. She told me that she want our child. She told me that as I have sex with her she won't have sex with any other guy except me. She also told me that I can hang out with other girls but I have to give her a child when time comes. I m only 19 and I don't know what should I do. I have no idea how should I react as I have cross the line. I regreat my act I should uh ld have never slept with her. Plizz tell me what should I do. . . Thanks for ur time aunty. . Bidesh
Thanks Bidesh for sharing your dilemma with us. So now, lets begin with Josi.
Bidesh, do you really think you can have a child at 19 or even close? Can she? How will she explain it to her family, the society? Is she a heroine from 1970 Hindi films..."" mein tumhare bachche ki maa ban'naa chahtee hun?""
These are very grand plans extremely difficult and impractical to execute.
What may happen is, lets say you continue to have sex, she gets pregnant and now what will you both do...maybe get forced into being in a relationship, exactly what you are saying you don't want to be, not even her boyfriend. But if such a thing happens, you will be pushed into a position of responsibility, be it of keeping the pregnancy or not.
Just as you know how a girl gets pregnant, you also know show she does NOT get pregnant. Be sure and safe in every step you take.
You have just got over a love affair, give yourself some time. Take a break from all complex people and situations. Get to discover yourself a bit.
And lastly, it does not matter at all if a girl has bleeding in the first time she has sex, whether she be your girlfriend or not... you love a person for who they are with you, not based on a body part... yes?
Hope this helps you make smart and safe choice, Bidesh, do write back if you feel like it.
Bye for now.
Thank you sir for you wonderful suggestion. Lately she also told she had crush on since we first met at our coaching class. Also express her love for me, she told me she love me so she accept everything I said. She wouldn't have sex if we are just friend . She is not a bitch. She told me all this stuff, I don't know whether it is true or she just made it up. I don't really know how should I act. We did had a deal she accept everything before we had sex. She accept we can't be together, she accept I will never be her boyfriend, she accept I'll never love her, she also accept we did that just for enjoyment and also we can stop thinking about our ex for sometime. But after all this thing she act like that. Then I told her I'll ignore and stay away if she behave like this. As I had any intenson. we did everything as her wish, as she want me to. Then she start crying and told me not to stay away from her. She want me to be her good friend like before. Its okey with having child and stuff. But I started feeling pity for her as I have done that which a friend should never do. .. I don't know what should I do. ..I m really confuse right now