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Posted by Alvirakhan

Hello aunty jii , my name is Alvira khan and my age is 23 years . Mam me 6 year 3 month se relationship me hu jab me 17 ki thi or Arsh (bf) 18 ke the . Ye mera phla relationship h phla pyr jise kehte h unse na phle koi tha na aj h or same unka bhi yhi h. Hum dono ek dusre se beinteha pyr krte h wo ek ideal partner h unhne hr zimmedari nibhai h mere hr nakhre hr cheez puri krte h wo or pyr bhi bht krte h. Hm dono shdi krna chahte h pr meri mummy unhe bilkul pasnd nhi krti apko me Puri bt btaungi detail me thodi lambi ho jayegi pr mam apki guidance se shyd sb suljh jaye .
Kam umr ka pyr h hm dono ka to mummy use meri glt mnti h shuru shuru me jb hmara affair hua tha 3 mahine bd meri mummy ko pta chla tha to unhe wo bilkul pasnd nhi aye the kyuki wo h bhr ke aur wo yha kam krte h bht zimmedar h pr wo hmri city ki jis jgh kam krte h wo jgh khas achi nhi h to phli problem to ye h , phr unki family bdi h 7 bhne h isse dikkt h mummy ko , or yha hmri city me unka ghr nhi h , aur mummy ko lgta h ke wo meri tkkr ke nhi h mtlb dkhne dkhane me sbse main masla ye h mumny ko mummy unhe dkhti h khi ate jate me to unhe dkhte sth hr kch bkne lgti h jo mjhe pasnd nhi h . Wo mere liye sb kch h me unse bht pyr krti hu . Kul mila kr mummy ko unme kch psnd nhi h or mjhe unme hr ek cheez psnd h. Mummy ki nzro me hmra rshta 4 sal phle khtm ho gya pr unhe shak h hm sth me h qki jb bhi unki bt aj bhi nikti h me unhi ki side bolti hu shak kya unhe 80% lgta h hm sth h aj bhi phr bhi wo mre yha wha rshte laga rhi h me kya kru ap btaiye . Mam me unhe kisi keemat pr chr nhi skti . Shdi hogi to unse wrna to kbhi nhi krungi kisi se shdi akeli reh lungi .

Answer
moderator love-matters
0

Alvirakhan puttar,
Main samajh sakti hun, tum bahut pareshan hogi. Parents jab nahi maante hamari choice ko to bada dhukh hota hai. Tumhari mummy ko woh pasand nahi hai - yeh mujhe samajh aaya. Lekin ek baat batao - tumhare bf ke ghar main situation kaise hai? Kya uske parents ko tum dono ke baare main pata hai - kya woh ok hai iss rishte ke liye? Agar haan to tum dono balig ho - 18 saal se upar ho. Kanooni taur pe to tum dono shaadi kar sakte ho aur ismein kuch galat nahi hoga. Lekin beta yeh bahut bada faisla hoga - bahut mushkilein aa sakti hai.
Kai baar hum logon ko lagta hai ki iss insan ke peeche hum puri umar nikal denge - bahut pyar karte hain hum - lekin beta kai baar rishte toot bhi jaate hain - aur hamari expectations poori nahi ho paati. Kya tum uss situation ke liye tayyar ho? Agar tum parents ke khilaf ja ke shaadi karti ho - aur unfortunately shadi ke baad kisi problem main fass jaati ho ( pati se problem, ghar walon se le ke problem ya koi bhi aur problem) tab kya tum apne aap ko support kar paogi akele? Kya tumhare parents aisee situation main tumhe support karenge? main nahi keh rahi ki aisa hoga he hoga - lekin hume hamesha bure waqt ke liye ready rehna chahiye na - aisee situations ke baare main hamehsa tayyar rehna chaiye!
Aur doosri baat - kya tumne apne bf ko kabhi apni mummy se milaya? Dono ne ek doosre se baat ki kabhi - aamne saamne? Apne bf ko bolo ki woh iske liye apne aap ko tayyar kare - agar woh tumse itna pyar karta hai - to i am sure woh tumhari maa ko iss baat ke liye convince kar lega ki woh tumhe hamesha bahut khush rakhega - chahe kuch bhi ho jaye. Parents ke liye yeh bahut important hota hai ki woh jiss ladke ke saath apni beti ki shaadi kar rahe hain - woh kaisa hai - financial taur pe, swabhav main, aur woh ladki se kitna pyar karta hai - so agar tumhara bf kissi tarah tumhari mummy ko inn sab baton se convince kar le? Iske baare main socho.
Kissi bade ko - koi friend - koi samajhdaar relative ko apni problem main involve karo - unse discuss karo ki tum dono marriage karna chahte ho - woh tumhari jagah tumhari mummy se baat kare.
Baaki apni mummy ki bhi suno - kai baar hum log badon ke experience ko nazarandaaz kar dete hain - woh log hum se bade hain - jo kuch keh rahe hote hain woh kai baar sahi bhi hota hai. Jiski importance humko baad main pata chalta hai ya baad main realise hoti hai. So hamesha parents bhi galat nahi hote. Sab kuch suno - unka bhi - apne bf ka bhi. Jo bhi faisla lo soch samajh ke lo - all the best! Aur haan yeh article padho - https://lovematters.in/hi/marriage/thinking-about-marriage/love-marriages - Bahut tips milenge parents ko tackle karne ke liye!

Auntyji
0

Mam mere bf ki family ko sab pta hai aur wo sb convince hai shuru se hi unhe me pasnd hu . Aur mam i am 100% sure wo mjhe bht khush rkhnge Abhi se wo sari zimmedari utha rhe h jese ek husband nibhata h merie bht health issue h migraine hai or cervical or wo abhi se dr k yha dkhana medicine wagera sb whi krate h wo bht pyr krte h or in 6 salo me aj tk unhne jhut nhi bola kisi bt ko lekr kabhi koi bt nhi chupai . Mam rhi bt mummy ki to wo srf isliye unhe napasnd krti h k wo unhe look wise mere hisab se nhi lgte aur ye wjh bht glt h bht glt jb rhna mjhe h lifetime unke sth or mjhe wo bht psnd h hr trh se to kisi ko kya dikkat . Mam hmra rshta kbhi nhi tootega na usme koi problem ayegi hm aj bhi ldte jhgdte h pr dono ek dusre k bina jee nhi skte na ek dusre ko chr skte . Aur wo 4 5 br mummy se mil chuke h jb jb mummy ko hm dono k bre me pta chla h mummy ne unhe ghr bula kr bt ki h unse lekin 4 sal se koi bt nhi hui amne samne bula kr mummy ne hmehsa unse yhi bt ki h k tm bt krna bnd krdo meri ldki se to wo bht seedhe h wo kch nhi kehte bs yhi kehte h aunty me bht khush rakhunga apki beti ko aur ko kch nhi sunti mummy kyuki mummy jo wo psnd nhi h or na aynge

moderator love-matters
0

Alvirakhan puttar,
Beta yeh to bahut achi baat hai ki uske ghar main tumhe sab support karte hain aur tumhari healthy ka bhi khyal rakhte hain. Aur haan main bhi maanti hun ki kisi ko looks ke liye reject nahi karna chaiye - insaan ki achhayee bhi to dekhni chaiye. Looks to aaj hain - kal nahi!

To beta abhi do raste hain tum dono ke pass - tum unke parents aur apni mummy ko milwa do aur ek baar final baat karwa lo. Ho sakta hai ki woh uske parents se mile to unhe samajh main aaye ki woh log kitne achhe hain? Agar fir bhi woh nahi maanti to tum apne liye koi job dhoondho - apne pairon pe khade ho - financially independent bano aur fir tum dono court marriage ke baare main soch sakte ho. Jo bhi faisla lo - usse pehle apne pairon pe khade zaroor hona pehle - https://lovematters.in/hi/bharat-mein-court-marriage

Auntyji