Let's Talk Forum


Posted by Dyuti

Hi. I am an artist, 31, from India. I was at the receiving end of a sexual advance by a colleague who claimed he "was attracted to me", by shoving his hand into my panty the 2nd day he met me (post work) while I sat behind him on a bike after he offered to drop me back from work to a metro station. He had never asked me if I have a personal life or told me he liked me, asked for my permission before attacking my panty or any other part of my body or asked me out on a date if he really liked me. I felt violated and considered it a 'sexual assault', because I considered what he did dirty and considered it too big a leap to presume that degree of entitlement over the most intimate parts of my body without valuing my consent, even if we were "decently" flirting or being nice and charming with each other. I was offended that he even dared to make a "Sexual move" on me rather than inquire about my personal life, or show interest in me the person or wanting to spend quality time with me to get to know me or like me as a person. That was the only thing on his mind, and he attacked the most intimate part of my body violently with a sense of entitlement without knowing me based on the pretext that he "liked me". I like many men but I never attack any sexual or intimate part of their body without asking. Is it normal for a man to make such a move on a woman if he is attracted to her? Is it supposed to be taken as a compliment or a sign or disrespect because he took my body for granted without my consent, no matter how attracted he may have been to me? Please share your thoughts.

moderator Bombay Sapphire

You are absolutely right in feeling the indignation you are! This is an over stepping out and out! Terrible in fact.
Flirting or not - touching any part of your body without your explicit agreement is rape is harassment.
What d you want to do about it - if anything at all? You can confront him, terrify him , or both and there after keep him very far away from you.
You can even lodge a complaint - but because it happened outside of the office - in a non official capacity - your workplace may or not take due cognisance !
BUT in your personal capacity - you can - bluntly put - Fix Him - in any way you want. In the beginning a ""public spectacle "" may not be a good idea but take it ahead as you like to as long as you feel strong and comfortable in whatever you do.
I guess no more rides back home with the Creep