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Posted by GajjuBHAI

I am 18 and my cousin sister is 19 and we had very good bond, we talked about sex and we also watched porn together. How will I seduce her for sex?

moderator love-matters

GajjuBHAI puttar,
Watching porn with your sister can land you in trouble, especially if she backs out and says that you forced her to watch it! Please do not do that! Section 354A defines sexual harassment as “showing pornography against the will of a woman”.

Your cousin has been around you, she gets you, you have been sharing so much with her and now... she has suddenly transformed into the sexiest woman you know. When did that happen? Your old fun and comfort gets further concretised and you believe you are ‘in love’. Getting complicated?

There is one more player in this – your cousin. Just because she is a woman – does not mean she will be ready to jump into bed with you. She may have an extreme reaction too. All this while you were her brother – and now what’s this sudden change of course.

You may have all these feelings for her – she may still be only filial in her affections. What then? You make a move and she freaks out, ‘Bhai– what are you saying’! She begins to avoid you and you are all flustered and now afraid.

What if she tells someone in the family? And yes – what if she does? How will you ever manage that, beta?

What do you think can be the repercussions of this? You lose a good friend to begin with. While no doubt some communities do make room for relationships between cousins, most don’t.

In our work experience – this sort of a love story – while common as it may be – has never really had a happy ending of any sort. It gets so messy and so complicated. Families get involved and yeah, before you know it, it’s all out of control – with name calling and blame gaming between your parents. And you at the receiving end.

Also, you cannot seduce your cousin for sex! Sexual relations between family members may have damaging effects on the psyche of the person if he or she is being coerced into such sexual activities. The feelings of guilt, coupled with the fact that the person has to live under the same roof as the perpetrator of the act, results in trust issues, stunted emotional growth, and poor attachment styles (style of connecting, relating or loving others).

In extreme cases, it can also lead to anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts. Besides, other people in the family may refuse to believe their account, discredit it or blame the victim for the occurrence. The trauma of the experience is magnified manifold if the person doesn’t get their family’s support, or worse still is blamed for the act, when they bring it to light.

If you harbour a desire for a close family member and are considering acting on it, just think about what is at stake. It can often lead to hurt, alienation, trauma and confusion within familial relationships.

So what can you do from now onwards? Trying to keep a distance from her, now onwards. Give yourself some thought time – even talk to a close pal if you want. Take a trip? A hobby class, the gym? Swimming?

Break your regular routine in which your cousin and interaction with her plays a central role. Go out with your own gang of girls or pals. Don't beat yourself up on this though –its common, it happens. Wanting sex is no crime – no bad thing – its perfectly OK. Its sexy and your right too. Just choose your partner wisely!

Also read this - https://lovematters.in/en/should-i-have-sex-with-my-cousin