Let's Talk Forum


Posted by swati

i want to do sex for the first time..but i have lots of fear to have sex before marriage and i fear for pain also.


Dear Swati,

There is no need to be scared. It's not necessary that first time sex needs to be painful. However, sometimes, if the woman is a bit nervous, it ca lead to a painful experience. So relax! Take it slow, understand both your and your partner's body and communicate about your desires and needs. Sex can be pleasurable if your are in tune with yourself and your lover's mind and body. You can also use a lot of lubrication during penetrative sex. Make sure you use a water based lubricant because otherwise your latex condom can tear. For more information, you can read: https://lovematters.in/en/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts

Also regarding sex before marriage, we would like to point out that there are some myths in the society regarding woman's virginity. One of them is about bleeding and pain during first time sex. A lot of people mistakenly believe that only if a woman bleeds during the first time having sex after marriage, she is a virgin. This is because the hymen can tear which can lead to bleeding. However, a woman's hymen can tear due to many reasons which have nothing to do with sex (such as during gymnastics, etc). So there is no way to ascertain a woman's virginity. In fact not even a trained medical professional can find out for sure. For more information, you can read: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/myths-about-virginity

We would also like to point out that you should focus on the present right now. Be safe! For information on safe sex, do read: https://lovematters.in/en/resource/safe-sex

Thank you!