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Sangita1611
Posted by Sangita1611

My gf 24 change thier clothes in front of dad and brother. I scold her its not hood to come in penty bra near dad or bro. You are not a child now. But she says i don't come in this dress near my dad or bro. But i use to change near them and she use to sleep with dad daily. She says he is my dad and bro. There is nothing wrong to sleep with them or change clothes? Is it ok?

moderator Bombay Sapphire
0

We have just responded to your message Dost. And you have our response.
This is really not the done thing!! We urge you to discuss this with your gf - that a certain sense of distance has to be kept between family members. Its absolutely not OK. What does she say in this regard?
Take care Dost

Sangita1611
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i had discussed this to my gf..but she told me there is nothing wrong to sleep with my dad..after all he is my dad. but sir i know he is her dad but i don't like this and i scare to tell her this..may b she will take my words negative..that i am thinking something wrong about her..so..what do i do sir..?? u really don't like this of her habit.

Sangita1611
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** i really don't like this her habit

Sangita1611
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we have also planned to get marry next year but i feel negative of her habit. she also never took me seriously. in relationship with her i feel there is no priority of me in her life.

Sangita1611
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her family still have no idea about her relationship.

Sangita1611
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she didn't like her mom. she hates her. and she loves her dad madly. i feel irritate when her brother cone to home and she sleeps with her hug, she hugs her, kiss her, when she come to home from college she use to change clothes near them but she never change clothes in front of mom.

Sangita1611
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she calls me husband but never give me importance..and i do love her truly but i feel irritate of her habit of this and it creates negativity on my mind to move on.

Sangita1611
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one day she was alone with her dad for two days.. the 1st day she talked to me the whole day with some breaks but she had ignored me in the night..and had gone to sleep very early.. she told me she is feeling very sleepy. and next day she didn't even called me the whole day and then she called at 6 and told me that she didn't have network on her mobile. again she had to sleep very early.....i feel very bad by this habit of her..she she is going to be my life partner..she will tell her dad abt me aftr my job..i aksed hw will tell ur dad..then she told me "meko pata hai kaise dad ko manana h shadi k liye..jab mum nahi rahegi ghar mein tab hum manayenge dad ko"

Sangita1611
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obesrve the matter and give me the perfect solution sir. is it common or i guess i am thinking something cheap or negative my be. i need ur suggestion. what do i do?

Sangita1611
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we are in a relationship from so long but we never have any physical relationship yet. we had just kissed each other only. she told me she will come to do everything with me after marriage not before marriage. i felt it good that she is very innocent girl. she didn't come physical with me before marriage. we have a long distance relationship.

Sangita1611
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i come to u and wrote everything with some hope and perfect solution or suggestion. observe everything sir and pls give me the suggestion.

Sangita1611
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sometimes i act of doubting on her. i bring some other reason but she always tell me. she loves me lot and she is very honest for me. she always tell me to trust her only. may be i am thinking very negative about her. i am confused so i need ur suggestions.

Sangita1611
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sir please reply....

moderator Gulutips
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Dear Sangita, As our moderator above, has suggested that you must talk to your girlfriend about it. She may be innocent and loves you deeply with the same trust you could discuss these aspects that make you uncomfortable. Kindly speak to her gently about it, without making any accusations or doubting her. But at the same time, discussingthe issue firmly.  Read the link on how to talk to your partner. https://lovematters.in/en/resource/how-talk-your-partner All the best.

Sangita1611
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Thank u so much for your suggestion and i guess you are right. I should trust on her but still i don't like her habit. I have already told her but she thinks its common. Well its ok. I guess its really i should not think negative.

moderator Bombay Sapphire
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Sangita 1611, while trust and faith are integral to any relationship you are right in one regard and that is - this is not common nor normal behaviour under any circumstances. .
Like mentioned above, every relationship has certain boundary- even the most intimate ones. There is no role for intimacy in a father/ brother- daughter/ sister relationship.
We urge you to think- discuss- express yourself with your gf. Make yourself clear on the issue and see what happens. Better now than later or post marriage.

All the best in your discussions, tips for which are given above

Sangita1611
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Thank You so much for your reply sir. Actually i have discussed this to her today. I strictly told her that i don't like your habits that you change clothes near them and u sleep with them so she replied that i stopped changing clothes near them but i can't stop sleeping with dad..i used to sleep with him from my childhood even he will not sleep without me and i love to sleep with him. I don't like my mom, i can't sleep with her and i have not allowed to sleep alone and i love my dad, and i am with my dad until i don't get marry..after marriage i will be yours forever.. till i will be with my dad and i will sleep with him only. Sir noa you advise me what do i do? after all its all about my life. I want an honest girl as i am. I need your advise. You can openly share to me anything on this point.

Sangita1611
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i am completely confused. Am i thinking negative or its already things are negative? After marriage she will be my wife but before i get marry i want to clear everything. Its all about my family and my life.

pinkestine141
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dude this is incest.
are you dumb not to get the signs???
she hates her mom and "cannot stop sleeping with her dad"
you never know once your married the kids she delivers are your children or brothers and sisters in law ;p

Sangita1611
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i am so sorry..i didn't get u..

pinkestine141
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brother there is something wrong going on between your gf and her father
it can be clearly seen
THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!

Sangita1611
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dude actually she told me.."mai apne dad se chipak k nahi soti hu.." and i remember when she was alone with her dad..she completely ignored me on that dad..and she even didn't talk to me on the night as she had told me she is feeling very sleepy at 10 pm only. 2nd thing she never allowed me for sex yet..as she saya its bad before marriage so this thing pinch me..woww she is very innocent girl where as when i see her with her father i felt something negative....as u have said....i completely confused....what do i think now?

Sangita1611
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sometimes i think may be she loves her dad..so she sleeps but there is nothing wrong between them as she always tell me..i am honest for u..i nvr have physical relationship with anyone. uffff i am honest guy and i want an honest girl..what u guys think..... should i trust her?

pinkestine141
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she did not speak to you when she was with her dad for 2 days.... explains it all.
she made an excuse of sleeping early, surely she wouldn't have been solving maths problems with her dad!!
this looks like incest, if you don't know what incest is google it.
and dump her brother
for the sake of humanity, just find some other girl who is normal.

Sangita1611
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I truly love her. May be i should confirm it 1st before i dumb her. I do think she has physical relationship with her father but i should confirm it but don't know how? its yuck.....how her mother allow her to sleep with her husband? its disgusting..what her mother do that time.

pinkestine141
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may be her mother sleeps with her brother, quite a loving family!!!
get rid of her bhai

Sangita1611
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dude her lives in delhi..so now there is 3family member..mom dad and that girl..

Sangita1611
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dude her bro lives in delhi..so now there is 3family member..mom dad and that girl..

Sangita1611
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bdw thank u so much for supporting me bro....i really wanted to a suggestion

pinkestine141
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not a problem
i would never keep a girl like that
she sounds sick and so does her family
you definitely dont want a wife like that.
dump her soon
all the best bro

Sangita1611
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uff.....its disgusting.....quite tough to move on..why don't she allow for physical....if she is that frank?? so many questions rising on my mind

Sangita1611
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yep i will bro..i am gonna dumb her..thank u so much dude..

moderator Bombay Sapphire
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Hi Sangita1611 and Hi Pinkestine141

Its been quite an interesting chat between you both and quite frank - which is great.

Sangita1611 - we have been saying from the very beginning that this behaviour is not "normal" between the two. This kind of proximity is very odd and can put doubts in any bodys mind.

It will be hard to move on , and tough to break up - but if you express yourself clearly - perhaps you too will feel more in control of yourself.
The matter you raise of not having has any sexual relationship is totally irrelevant just now, that does not prove or improve anything.

Just a question , she can't sleep without dad and dad can't sleep without her so what will happen when you marry? also which 24 year old is not allowed to sleep alone - in a house full of people? She is 24, not 2!!

Thanks Pinkistine141 - you hit the nail on the head!!

Take a quick and smart decision.

Sangita1611
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exactly..its very very tough for me to move on..as i am completely fall in love with her. She confirmed me yesterday that she sleeps with him but they never hug each other, she sleeps one side and her dad on another side and her mom in other room but i still doubt on her on the basis of when she was with her dad alone she had ignored me that day. Once her mom knew about us that we met alone in a hotel and after that her mom slapped her. She is very strict. He family is very simple. Sometimes i think i should trust on her, she just sleeps with her dad or sometimes with her younger bro who is 20 but there is nothing wrong between them but sometimes i think there something wrong. She always take the name of God, that believe on God u r going to be my husband and i am very honest for u. She is taking the name of God now. May be its normal..and i have know clue to confirm it..i can't directly ask her..

Sangita1611
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what question do i ask her to confirm that everything is normal na..?? its disturbing me.. if she is honest then surely i will lose that one i love and she do love me..

Sangita1611
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and whole day it was a cold war. She got angry on me that i have indirectly told her whats running in my mind. and her reply was..... "He is my dad if i sleep with him then whats wrong? what nonsense u r thinking that he use to touch me, that he do something with me? is that the thing u r thinking? i have never expected this to u, that u will say like this or think. I sleep with him but i know the limit of daughter and dad. He is my dad, he loves me madly, i am with him only untill i don't get marry after that he will always miss me and cry. His health is not good, he can't even able to talk to anyone properly and u think something wrong about him." but after that i twisted the topic and wrote something else and won her trust again and made her that my intention was not that but still she must thinking about my words.

moderator Bombay Sapphire
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Sangita1611, we have expressed our concerns and thought above. As has another person who read your posts. The rest is actually up to you henceforth.

We wish you the best.

Sangita1611
1

thank u so much for ur support.